Christianity Isn't Behavior Change Post 2

If you’ve been around Christians long enough, you’ve probably seen the contradictions. We talk about grace but act judgy. We preach forgiveness but stay bitter. We say “come as you are,” but then quietly expect people to clean up before they walk in the door.

Let’s be honest: a lot of Christians don’t always represent Jesus well. Sometimes it’s out of ignorance. Sometimes it’s out of fear. Sometimes it’s out of sheer habit. And sometimes it’s flat-out hypocrisy.

If you’ve been burned by that, brushed off by that, or just confused by that — I’m not here to defend the mess. I’m here to tell the truth about it.

Because the version of Christianity you may have seen isn’t necessarily the version Jesus started.

So Let’s Clear the Table

Christianity, at its core, is not:

• a club for “good people,”
  

• a behavior-polishing program,
  

• a checklist of things you’re supposed to avoid,
  

• a place where people pretend everything is fine.
  

Those might be the versions you’ve witnessed. They might even be the loudest ones. But that’s not the real thing.

Some Christians confuse following Jesus with following traditions, politics, personalities, or culture wars. And when that mix gets messy, it sends the wrong message — one that makes people want to step back rather than lean in.

But underneath all that static is something very different. Something that actually does change people — not from the outside in, but from the inside out.

Christianity Starts With a Gift, Not a Rulebook

Here’s the simplest way to explain it:

Christianity begins with the belief that humans are broken and can’t fix themselves — not morally, not spiritually, not relationally. And instead of demanding we climb our way up to God, God came down to us.

It’s not about “be better.”
It’s “receive what you could never earn.”

The Apostle Paul described it clearly:
“It is by grace you have been saved through faith… not by works.” (Eph. 2:8–9)

Grace means gifted.
Unearned.
Undeserved.
Offered freely.

Not “get your life together, then God will accept you.”
It’s more like “God accepts you, and that acceptance begins the healing you couldn’t make happen on your own.”

That’s why Jesus didn’t walk around handing people checklists. He didn’t tell the misfits and the broken to behave better. He invited them close, gave them dignity, healed their souls — and then their behavior changed naturally.

Identity first.
Transformation second.
Rules last.

That’s the order.

So What Went Wrong?

Somewhere along the way, a lot of Christians flipped the script.

Instead of “receive the gift,” it became, “prove you deserve the gift.”
Instead of “come as you are,” it became, “come cleaned up.”
Instead of “let God work in your soul,” it became, “fit in with our culture.”

And the truth is, when the church makes moral performance the entry point, it becomes a barrier rather than a bridge.

The result?

People are turned off not by Jesus — but by the distorted version of Him that Christians sometimes project.

If You’ve Stepped Back From Church — You’re Not Crazy

For a lot of spiritually curious people, it’s not Jesus that’s confusing. It’s His followers.

You’ve seen the contradictions.
You’ve seen the posturing.
You’ve seen the performative goodness.
You’ve seen Christians who look polished on Sunday and petty on Monday.

And I need you to hear this:
Your frustration is valid.

Jesus Himself called out the religious people in His day for doing the exact same thing — looking holy on the outside while their hearts stayed untouched. So if you’ve ever thought, “I like Jesus, but Christians? I’m not so sure…” — you and Jesus might actually agree on that point.

So If It’s Not About Being Good… What Is It About?

It’s about becoming alive.

It’s about receiving a gift that changes your identity before it ever touches your behavior.

It’s about a God who sees the mess without flinching — and moves toward you, not away.

It’s about being known fully and loved fully at the same time.

It’s about healing the soul before dealing with the symptoms.

It's about transformation, not performance.

If you’ve only ever seen Christianity as a set of rules, then you’ve never actually seen Christianity. You’ve seen the imitation version, the cultural knock-off, the churchy performance.

The real thing is deeper, stronger, and far more, well, real.

What You Do With That Gift Is Up to You

The gospel works like any gift:
You can accept it, reject it, ignore it, or set it aside quietly.
But it only changes you when you open it.

And if you’ve been carrying wounds from Christians behaving badly, please know: the gift wasn’t the problem. The gift-giver wasn’t the problem. Some of His people just carried it poorly.

We want to see the real thing, not the distorted version.

Now What?

1. Take a moment to reflect:
What have you rejected — Jesus Himself, or the flawed ways people have portrayed Him?

3. For the full conversation and story behind this series:
Listen to the episode of Christianese that digs even deeper into hypocrisy, grace, and what real soul-level transformation looks like. It's an older episode so the audio isn't amazing but hey, this is a raw conversation amongst friends.