Christianity Isn’t Your Behavior Mod Plan

If you’ve been around church long enough, you know how easy it is to slip into the routine. Show up on Sunday. Nod through the sermon. Sing the songs. Volunteer once or twice. Maybe even drop a “praying for you” on Facebook. And from the outside, that looks like the Christian life.

But let’s be real for a second: attending church and being transformed by Jesus aren’t the same thing. And if that stings a little, you might actually be right on the edge of something God’s been trying to get our attention about.

This isn’t a rant at the world “out there.” This is a family conversation. A Corinthians-style conversation. Paul loved that church deeply… but he also said, “Hey, you’re acting like spiritual infants when you should be growing up” (1 Cor. 3:1–3). He wasn’t afraid to call out the gap between their activity and their authenticity.

And honestly? We need that same kind of call-out today.

The Problem Isn’t the World — It’s the Version of Christianity We Keep Selling

The gospel was never meant to be a “moral improvement plan.” It wasn’t given as a self-help program. It wasn’t a community club for nice people. It wasn’t fire insurance. It wasn’t a badge we wear to show others we’re on the “good side.”

Yet that’s exactly what a lot of Christians have turned it into.

Instead of the gospel being a transforming gift from God, we’ve turned it into a checklist:

• Don’t smoke.

• Don’t drink.

• Don’t cuss.

• Don’t wear holy jeans.

• Don’t listen to ‘secular’ music.

• Don’t have problems.

• And above all else, don’t let the church know you’re human.

We’ve made the externals the entry point. Which is insane, because Jesus never did that. It’s like telling a sick person, “Heal yourself first, then come see the doctor.”

That’s not the gospel. That’s gatekeeping. And that’s stupid.

The Gospel Begins at the Soul Level

Paul wrote plainly in Ephesians: “It is by grace you have been saved, through faith—not by works, so no one can boast.” (Eph. 2:8–9)

Grace is the entry point.
Grace is the change agent.
Grace is the spark that makes a person actually want to live differently.

Grace brings us into the forgiven realm where we are made alive and can have healing from the soul first.

Behavior flows from identity — not the other way around.

A smoker isn’t a non-smoker just because they put down the cigarettes for a week. Real change happens when something deep inside shifts. When the identity changes. When the inner life catches up to the outer hope.

That’s how Christianity works.

You don’t become holy by acting holy.
You become holy because God gifts you His righteousness and starts changing you from the inside out.

But we flip the order. We demand people act differently before they believe differently. Before they know the Living God.

And then we wonder why the church feels fake.

Hypocrisy Isn’t a Side Issue — It’s the Issue

People aren’t walking away from Christianity because of Jesus. They’re walking away because the version of Him we’ve displayed to be shallow, judgmental, and obsessed with rule-following.

Research actually backs this up. David Kinnaman’s book UnChristian (worth picking up) lays out the data: the outside world isn’t rejecting Jesus — they’re rejecting the hypocrisy of His followers.

And honestly? They’re not wrong.

We preach grace, but we practice gatekeeping.
We preach forgiveness, but we hold grudges.
We preach transformation, but we settle for behavior management.

Meanwhile, our own souls stay untouched by the very gift we claim to believe in.

The Real Question: What Are You Becoming?

This is where the frustration comes in. Because if Christianity is just about behaving better, why do any of us need Jesus at all? If the point is to be nicer, we can get that from a TED Talk or a pilates class.

But if the point is to be transformed — completely and deeply — then it starts with receiving the gift. Not performing for it.

The God of the universe isn’t asking you to join a club. He’s not handing you a moral scorecard. He’s offering Himself — a relationship, a new identity, a new heart.

And a lot of church-going Christians have accepted the routine but not the relationship.

You can go to church every week and never actually receive the gift God is trying to hand you.

So… What Now?

Here’s the uncomfortable but freeing reality:
You don’t need to perform better. You need to be honest.

Honest with yourself.
Honest with God.
Honest about the gap between what you do and who you’re actually becoming.

The gospel isn’t asking you to fake it. It’s asking you to receive it.

And that reception changes everything — from your soul outward.

What do I suggest now? You might need your own fire pit for this, like I do!

1. Slow down and get brutally honest:
Where is your faith real, and where is it just performance?

2. For a deeper dive into this conversation:
Listen to the full episode of Christianese where we unpack how pseudo-Christianity is hurting our witness — and what real soul-level transformation actually looks like.