The Real Cost of Unforgiveness

We talk a lot about forgiveness in church circles, but we don’t always realize how much it costs us when we refuse it. Bitterness feels justified. Someone hurt you, crossed a line, betrayed your trust—and now you’re left holding the weight of it. But here’s the truth most of us don’t like to admit: holding on to it doesn’t make us strong, it makes us stuck.

Jesus never said forgiveness was easy. He said it was necessary. When He taught us to pray, He tied our relationship with the Father directly to how we forgive others. That wasn’t Him being harsh—it was Him showing us freedom. Because when you hold someone else’s sin hostage in your heart, you’re the one sitting in the cell.

I’ve seen it in my own life. The longer you replay the wrong, the more it starts to own you. It’s like trying to drink poison hoping the other person gets sick. Forgiveness, on the other hand, hands the debt over to the only One who can actually deal with it. The cross proves that Jesus knows what to do with sin—ours and theirs.

Now, forgiveness doesn’t mean pretending it didn’t happen. It means recognizing the price was already paid. When Christ said, “It is finished,” that covered the offense you committed—and the one done against you. You can let go without losing justice, because God doesn’t waste pain. He redeems it.

The real cost of holding on is your peace. The real reward of forgiving is your freedom. Let God do the collecting—you just walk free.